Part One: Choosing the Right Educator May Be the Most Important Decision You Make
By Rob Andress
Founder | Violence Prevention Specialist
Street Safe Self Defence Training Company
A Note to Parents
This article is published in three parts for one reason.
“I don’t believe one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make about your daughter’s safety can be explained in a five-minute social media post!”
Over the past two decades, Beth and I have had the privilege of educating more than 30,000 high school and university women across Canada. We’ve worked in classrooms, hospitals, universities, Indigenous communities, municipalities, airports, healthcare facilities and professional organizations. Along the way, we’ve learned something that continues to concern us.
Many parents spend more time researching a cellphone, a vehicle, or a family vacation than they do researching the person who will teach their daughter about violence.
That isn’t a criticism.
It’s simply because most parents don’t know what questions they should be asking.
This article isn’t about convincing you to choose Street Safe. It’s about helping you ask better questions before trusting anyone to educate your daughter about personal safety and violence prevention.
If, after reading this article, you decide another organization is the right fit for your family, I’ll respect that decision.
My goal isn’t to persuade you, my goal is to help you make the most informed decision possible.
Because when it comes to your daughter’s safety, asking the right questions may be just as important as learning the right answers.
Let Me Ask You One Honest Question
If your daughter came to you tonight and said, “Mom… Dad… I want to learn self-defence.”
How would you decide where to send her? Seriously!
What would your decision be based on?
Would you choose the dojo closest to your home?
Would you ask a friend for a recommendation?
Would you read a few online reviews?
Would you be impressed by a wall covered in black belts and tournament trophies?
Would you simply assume that because someone has taught martial arts for twenty years, they’re automatically qualified to teach your daughter about violence?
Those aren’t unreasonable ways to make a decision, they’re just not the questions I would be asking.
If your daughter needed heart surgery tomorrow, would you choose the surgeon because their office was closest to your house?
Of course not.
You’d want to know where they trained.
What they specialized in.
How much experience they had with the exact problem your daughter was facing.
You’d want confidence that their education matched the reality of the situation.
So why should choosing someone to educate your daughter about violence require any less thought?
Rob’s Perspective
“The greatest qualification to teach self-defence isn’t knowing how to fight. It’s understanding how violence begins.”
Rob Andress
Here’s Where I Think We’ve Been Asking the Wrong Question
For decades, the conversation around self-defence has focused on one thing.
Who is the better fighter?
I don’t think that’s the right question.
The better question is this.
Who better understands violence?
Those aren’t always the same person.
And understanding the difference may be one of the most important decisions you ever make as a parent.
I Want to Say Something About Martial Arts
Before I continue, I want to be completely transparent.
Martial arts changed my life. The “ARTS” taught me discipline, respect. humility, perseverance.
Some of the finest people I’ve ever known came into my life because of martial arts.
This article is not an attack on martial arts.
Nor is it a criticism of the thousands of outstanding instructors who dedicate their lives to helping people become better human beings.
In fact, I will always be grateful for what martial arts gave me.
But over the years, I came to realize something important.
Teaching a martial art and educating someone about interpersonal violence are not necessarily the same profession.
There is certainly overlap. But they are not identical.
Most traditional martial arts were created to develop skill, discipline, character and physical ability within the framework of their own systems.
Modern violence prevention asks additional questions.
Why do predators choose certain victims?
What behavioural changes occur before violence?
How does fear affect decision-making?
Why do otherwise capable people freeze?
What role do coercive control, stalking, grooming and boundary testing play before an assault ever becomes physical?
How do trauma, psychology and human behaviour influence survival?
How does Canadian law define reasonable force in self-defence?
Those subjects aren’t criticisms of martial arts.
They’re simply different areas of study.
And they matter.
Because violence is committed by human beings.
Not by martial arts styles.
Why Beth and I Chose a Different Path
Years ago, Beth and I made a decision.
Instead of spending our careers collecting more techniques, we decided to become students of violence.
We wanted to understand not only how violence happens, but why. That journey led us far beyond the walls of a dojo.
We pursued professional education in violence prevention, behavioural awareness, trauma-informed practice, threat assessment, family dynamics of violence, human performance under stress and the realities of modern criminal behaviour.
We earned certifications in Violence Prevention and Self-Defence, Pure and Applied Debilitation, Trauma-Informed Practices, Family Dynamics of Violence, Trauma Response, Threat Assessment and A.L.I.V.E. (Active Shooter Survival).
Along the way, we had the privilege of learning, and working with internationally recognized experts in the psychology of violence and reality-based self-defence.
Beth expanded her work even further, earning specialist certifications in Anti-Money Laundering, Digital Violence and Human Trafficking, because today’s offenders don’t only approach people in parking lots. They also exploit technology, social media, financial systems and online relationships.
Those qualifications aren’t something we list to impress people. They’re a reflection of our belief that if we’re going to teach Canadians about violence, we have a responsibility to keep learning ourselves.
Because violence changes.
Predators adapt.
Our education should too.
Rob’s Perspective
“Our career hasn’t been built around teaching people how to fight. It’s been built around understanding why people become victims—and how to help prevent that from happening.”
Rob Andress
To be continued in Part 2. https://streetsafeselfdefence.com/what-should-your-daughter-actually-learn-about-self-defence/
Women’s Violence Prevention Program
High School Violence Prevention Program
TRAACS – Tactical Risk Awareness & Applied Combative Systems
The Open Palm vs. The Closed Fist
Confusion Is a Predator’s Greatest Weapon
The Most Important Awareness You Will Ever Develop Is Self-Awareness
Department of Justice Canada – Criminal Code (Section 34: Self-Defence)
https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/C-46/section-34.html
Statistics Canada – Gender-Based Violence
https://www.statcan.gc.ca/
Canadian Women’s Foundation
https://canadianwomen.org/
Public Health Agency of Canada – Family Violence
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence.html
World Health Organization – Violence Prevention
https://www.who.int/teams/social-determinants-of-health/violence-prevention
Canadian Centre for Child Protection
https://protectchildren.ca/
Cybertip.ca
https://www.cybertip.ca/
Canadian Human Trafficking Hotline
https://www.canadianhumantraffickinghotline.ca/