Part Two: What Should Your Daughter Actually Learn?
By Rob Andress
Founder | Violence Prevention Specialist
Street Safe Self Defence Training Company
Before You Begin
This is Part Two of a three-part series.
If you haven’t read Part One, I encourage you to start there first.
Part One: Choosing the Right Educator May Be the Most Important Decision You Make
👉 https://www.streetsafeselfdefence.com/before-you-trust-anyone-to-teach-your-daughter-self-defence
In Part One, I asked parents to think differently about who should educate their daughter about violence.
In this article, I’d like to discuss something equally important.
What should your daughter actually be learning?
Let’s Start With Another Honest Question
Imagine your daughter phones you one night.
She’s upset, someone followed her to her car.
Or maybe a young man she trusted suddenly became controlling.
Perhaps she’s walking home from class and realizes someone is watching her.
What knowledge do you hope she has at that moment?
Do you hope she remembers Technique Number 37?
Or do you hope she recognizes that something isn’t right long before she ever has to defend herself?
As a father, I know my answer. I don’t want my daughter relying on a physical response if there was an opportunity to recognize the danger earlier.
Because every second she gains before violence begins creates more options.
And options create safety.
Rob’s Perspective
“The best self-defence decision is often the one that’s made before anyone throws the first punch.”
Rob Andress
Violence Rarely Starts With Violence
One of the biggest misunderstandings about self-defence is believing violence begins with an attack.
In my experience, that’s rarely true.
Violence often begins with behaviour.
Someone ignores boundaries.
Someone invades personal space.
Someone refuses to accept “no.”
Someone isolates.
Someone manipulates.
Someone pressures.
Someone controls.
Someone grooms.
These aren’t random behaviours.
They’re information.
Human behaviour leaves clues.
Unfortunately, many self-defence programs begin teaching only after those clues have already been missed.
Beth and I believe that’s backwards. We believe your daughter should first understand how violence develops before she’s ever asked to respond to it physically.
Because understanding behaviour creates time, and time creates choices.
Fear Changes Everything
One of the greatest myths in self-defence is that people rise to the occasion.
Research into human performance under stress tells a more complicated story.
When fear suddenly appears, the brain and body change.
Heart rate increases.
Breathing changes.
Vision may narrow.
Auditory exclusion can occur.
Fine motor skills often deteriorate.
Decision-making becomes slower or simplified.
Some people fight.
Some flee.
Some freeze.
Others comply in an effort to survive.
These are normal human responses.
They are not signs of weakness.
That’s why asking someone to remember dozens of complicated techniques under extreme stress may not always reflect how people actually perform.
Instead, Beth and I focus on teaching concepts that remain useful when fear changes the way the body functions.
Simple.
Adaptable.
Repeatable.
Rob’s Perspective
“Fear doesn’t make you weak. Fear changes how your brain solves problems. Good education prepares people for that reality.”
Rob Andress
The Reality Parents Need to Understand
This next part may be uncomfortable. But it’s important!
Most young women will never choose the size, strength or intent of the person who decides to victimize them.
Reality doesn’t work that way.
Research consistently shows that, on average, adult males possess substantially greater upper-body strength than adult females. Grip strength alone is often dramatically higher, and that physical difference can influence how easily someone can restrain another person.
That doesn’t mean women are powerless.
It means we have to teach realistically.
If someone is relying on strength against strength, they’re already fighting the wrong battle.
That’s why Street Safe has never built its education around being stronger.
We teach positioning.
Targeting.
Movement.
Decision-making.
Creating opportunities to escape.
Understanding the environment.
Recognizing behaviour.
Because our goal isn’t to help your daughter overpower someone.
Our goal is to help her survive.
Why We Teach Principles
Parents have ask me, “How many techniques will my daughter learn?”
I understand the question, but I think there’s a better one. “What principles will she understand?”
A technique is designed for a specific situation.
A principle works across many situations.
Distance.
Awareness.
Balance.
Timing.
Targeting.
Escape.
Behaviour.
Communication.
Decision-making.
Those principles don’t disappear because the situation changes.
They adapt.
That’s why they’re the foundation of everything we teach.
Rob’s Perspective
“Techniques answer one question. Principles prepare you for hundreds.”
Rob Andress
Beth and I Didn’t Build Street Safe to Teach People How to Fight
We built it to help people understand violence.
That’s why our education extends beyond physical skills.
It’s why we’re certified in Violence Prevention and Self-Defence, Trauma-Informed Practices, Pure and Applied Debilitation, Family Dynamics of Violence, Trauma Response, Threat Assessment and A.L.I.V.E.
It’s why Beth has dedicated herself to understanding Digital Violence, Human Trafficking and Anti-Money Laundering—because today’s threats often begin online long before they become physical.
It’s why we continue learning from experts in violence psychology, behavioural science and reality-based self-defence.
Not because we want more certificates, because Canadians deserve educators who never stop learning.
Continue Reading
In Part Three, I’ll explain why violence prevention will always be more important than winning a fight.
We’ll discuss Criminal Code compliance, trauma-informed education, behavioural awareness, why understanding predators matters more than understanding punches, and the philosophy that has guided Street Safe for decades.
Read Part Three → https://streetsafeselfdefence.com/what-should-your-daughter-actually-learn-about-self-defence/
- Women’s Violence Prevention Program
- High School Violence Prevention Program
- TRAACS – Tactical Risk Awareness & Applied Combative Systems
- The Open Palm vs. The Closed Fist
References & Resources
- Department of Justice Canada – Criminal Code (Section 34)
https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/C-46/section-34.html - Statistics Canada
https://www.statcan.gc.ca/ - Canadian Women’s Foundation
https://canadianwomen.org/ - Public Health Agency of Canada
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence.html - World Health Organization – Violence Prevention
https://www.who.int/teams/social-determinants-of-health/violence-prevention